Shaken but not crushed...

An errand of paperwork for Sally Jo, the little red car of mine, found me plopped smack dabbed in the middle in a shady part of downtown Honolulu. Because of limited parking, I had to park the car in a dark and creepy basement parking lot. When I emerged into the warm sunlight after weaving through a maze of cars, stairways and halls, I sought out to find the specific building I was looking for.  

In the cluster of buildings, the numbers are oddly mismatched.  I walked up and down the street for 332. I see numbers 329, 330 and suddenly it jumps straight to 341. Frustrated and fed up, I walked into this walkway that was in between two buildings.  It wasn't an alley way but a inlet that allows you to go up stairways and elevators.  I spied a man and a woman sitting and eating pizza on a bench.  They didn't quite have the homeless look but they have definitely seen the harshness of poverty.  I head straight for the woman with wild black hair and tanned skin and ask if she had heard of the office I was looking for.

Suddenly the man leans over and states that he knows exactly where it is and that he would take me there. Before I know it, he led me to an elevator and we were inside of it.  This man seems to be in his late 60's, with a receding hairline and silver cavities on his front teeth.  He was not small by any means.  He stood at 6'3" or so and had a belly that would make Santa Claus proud. 

He offered up his name, Oliver, and held out his hand while asking for mine.  I simply said Laura and firmly shook his hand.  In that moment, I realize just how big this guy was and how small the elevator is.  As that nagging fear crept up my spine, sudden images of assault, robbery and rape flashed through my head.  

Still holding fast to my hand, which went limp in his, he lean closer with every personal question he asked. I gave fake or vague replies. His eyes held me captive and I forced myself to remain calm and to give him the benefit of doubt.  Perhaps he was just being a nice guy... but... still, I had that nagging feeling.  I started praying from the heart.

Finally the elevator reached the top floor and we stepped out.  Spying the office, I make a beeline for it and threw quick thanks over my shoulders.  To my dismay, he was following me, too closely for comfort.  He asked what I needed and what I wanted help with.  I just told him that I can take it from here and handle it on my own.  He was persistent.

As I step into the office, the man just stood next to me, skin to skin.  I took a step away and he step closer. I looked at the receptionist and found her looking at the guy warily.  I decided to state my business and just get the hell out of there. The lady kept eye contact with me the whole time and I think she knew that something was not right.  I just plastered a smile on my face and told her that I was fine.  She told me what I needed to do for the car and all the paperwork. I finally gathered up my stuff and hastily walked out the door.

Of course, the guy followed me right back onto the elevator.  This time he decided to get even more personal.  I had just told him that my husband was in the Marines when he had the friggin' nerve to ask me what I was doing that night.  I told him that I was working. He wanted to know the location and I told him that it didn't matter.

Stepping off the elevator, he went on explaining that we could have a lot of fun.  We could go out to the movies since he knows this place where you can watch a movie for a dollar.  He asked what I was doing the next day and the day after.  When he finally couldn't find a day that I was free, he asked me for my number.  

Unfortunately, I happened to have a pen and paper in my hand so I had to write down a fake number which I hope is no one's number and he gave me his.  The creep continued to ask if I wanted to get together the next morning and he can go with me to the marine base to help with the rest of my paperwork.  I firmly said no thank you and told him that I had to get going.

I could not walk away fast enough. I could not stop shaking. I could not get rid that awful nagging feeling.  I still had to walk back to my car. With a glance over my shoulders every few steps to be sure he wasn't following, I went back to the same garage door I came out of.  To my dismay, it was a one way and locked from the outside.  

I had to walk around the block to the entrance of the garage.  There are signs posted everywhere screaming that no pedestrians were allowed to walk down the ramp on foot.  I walked up to the paying booth and asked the lady if I could just run down the ramp to my car.  With a grumpy scowl, she growled that I better read all the signs and she better not see me go down the ramp.   She pointed out that I could go back to where the elevators are and take it down to the garage level.  I tried to explain that there was this creepy man by the elevators and that it would be just so much easier if I could run down the ramp.  She glowered at me and said, "Look lady, I can't help you anymore. I can't babysit you and walk you over to the elevators. I have a job to do."  

Blinking back the tears, I prayed and gathered up all my courage and march back to the elevators.  Without looking around, I slipped inside and quickly closed the doors. The elevator doors opened to the bottom floor.  I ran to my car and got in and locked the doors without another mishap.

The worst part of this whole thing was that there was no one here that I could drive over to their house and spill the whole story.  There is no one at my apartment that I could just fall into their arms and sob out my fears.  

However...

The best thing about this whole thing was that I had to learn the hard way to turn to Jesus. In the midst of being frighten to my core, I felt Him pulling me close and whispering that it was all over and that I was safe.  It was a learning experience that made me realize just how much I miss my husband, my family and friends, but also just how much I need to turn to the one who cares the most.

My joy is... knowing that He is there, all the time, everywhere.