Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Ah yi yi and a tired sigh

I know. I know. I did say I was going to be better about this.

I am horrible with blogging. I absolutely *love* to read other blogs and I even love to re-read my old postings. It's just sometimes I love to jot memories and stories down and other times, I could care less.

...Melodramatic venting here...

I am tired of this whole stupid transitioning point. I knew that it was going to be hard... but everyone knows that saying it and actually going through it is two different things.

This whole living out of a suitcase is overrated. I yearn to erase what I just wrote because I want to come across that I can easily travel and adapt to change. But why am I lying to myself? There are some changes that doesn't phase me and others that just brings meltdowns. And this is a meltdown change.

The Marine Corps has always been in my relationships with James... through our courtships, dating and marriage. It is like a tiny pebble in my shoe. I've learn to walk with it. I can shake my foot to get it to rest in a place where it's not so uncomfortable. Over time, I can endure it and go about life without having to wince with every step. The pebble becomes a part of my shoe. One day, rather suddenly, that pebble was no longer there. I have to relearn how my shoe feels, how to walk without doing a ridiculous foot jiggle, and to get into a new walking rhythm.

I have learned to accommodate myself to the way of life in the Marine Corps. I was able to get to a place where it became easier for me to be a Marine's wife. I could endure the long separations, the military jargon and give James up when Uncle Sam and country came a'callin'. I made my peace with how the Marine Corps was a part of my relationship.

Suddenly, things have shifted and the Marine Corps is no longer a part of the equation. I do feel a bit lost without it right now. I miss being a Marine's wife.

I am fed up with people who over exaggerate with mouths bigger than the Muppets. I am annoyed with people not understanding or taking the time to understand me. I am pissed with those who talk to James or others around me as if I can't talk for myself. I miss being in a place where people know me, understand me and love me.

...end of ranting...

Things I am LOVING right now:

:: change of weather
:: curling up under warm, thick blankets
:: donning on layers
:: gloves and mittens
:: lathering on lotions
:: twin is only two hours away
:: friends and family are near

Yes, it is a transition. A time of change... it comes with the bad and the good.


My joy is frosted breaths on crisp mornings.






6 comments:

Carolyn said...

Laura, this is beautiful.

SN CROOKS said...

Laura! I've started blogging too! YAY!

hv said...

Laura,
where are you now? email me.
heidi

momma c said...

Wow, what a start. Now keep at it, write while it's fresh.

Sam said...

praying for the new season, friend. I agree, change is both hard and good...nevertheless He has called His people to be adaptable. enjoy the frosty breaths.

Momma Mig said...

totally (not totally) but can make an attempt at understanding. first we lived married in separate states, then when we got to live together we had a baby months later, now, we have 2 and he's working days and nights and going to school. i want him home, but then i'm used to the rhythm when he's gone. blah! all i can say is one day, we'll look back at this point of change and it will simply be a memory. god's grace is sufficient in every situation and circumstance. i LOVE that you're back in the blogosphere!!!!!!!!!!