I am horrible with blogging. I absolutely *love* to read other blogs and I even love to re-read my old postings. It's just sometimes I love to jot memories and stories down and other times, I could care less.
...Melodramatic venting here...
I am tired of this whole stupid transitioning point. I knew that it was going to be hard... but everyone knows that saying it and actually going through it is two different things.
This whole living out of a suitcase is overrated. I yearn to erase what I just wrote because I want to come across that I can easily travel and adapt to change. But why am I lying to myself? There are some changes that doesn't phase me and others that just brings meltdowns. And this is a meltdown change.
The Marine Corps has always been in my relationships with James... through our courtships, dating and marriage. It is like a tiny pebble in my shoe. I've learn to walk with it. I can shake my foot to get it to rest in a place where it's not so uncomfortable. Over time, I can endure it and go about life without having to wince with every step. The pebble becomes a part of my shoe. One day, rather suddenly, that pebble was no longer there. I have to relearn how my shoe feels, how to walk without doing a ridiculous foot jiggle, and to get into a new walking rhythm.
I have learned to accommodate myself to the way of life in the Marine Corps. I was able to get to a place where it became easier for me to be a Marine's wife. I could endure the long separations, the military jargon and give James up when Uncle Sam and country came a'callin'. I made my peace with how the Marine Corps was a part of my relationship.
Suddenly, things have shifted and the Marine Corps is no longer a part of the equation. I do feel a bit lost without it right now. I miss being a Marine's wife.
I am fed up with people who over exaggerate with mouths bigger than the Muppets. I am annoyed with people not understanding or taking the time to understand me. I am pissed with those who talk to James or others around me as if I can't talk for myself. I miss being in a place where people know me, understand me and love me.
...end of ranting...
Things I am LOVING right now:
:: change of weather
:: curling up under warm, thick blankets
:: donning on layers
:: gloves and mittens
:: lathering on lotions
:: twin is only two hours away
:: friends and family are near
Yes, it is a transition. A time of change... it comes with the bad and the good.
My joy is frosted breaths on crisp mornings.
