Tuesday, February 17, 2009

It's Untold Bliss

Here it is... the novel of untold bliss.  Like I said, it is drawn out... I wouldn't have it any other way.

When we (Carolyn and I) arrived at the hotel, I was greeted by different members of my family pouring out of the hotel rooms.  The guys were hustling and bustling about, getting ready for a relaxing morning on the pontoon boat out on the bay.  James paused briefly, gave me a quick kiss and a "Good Morning, my bride." 

With stars in my eyes, I turned to see the ladies just coming and going.  Eating breakfast. Talking. Laughing. And doing whatever.  I just remember at that moment, I felt so at rest, so surrounded by love. 

I was pulled into a hotel room by Gabe and was blown away by a lovely sight... she had created three stunning, mouth-gaping-open bouquets.

Gabe, Tj's (my cousin's) wife, sweetly volunteered to take care of the flowers.  The night before, Gabe pulled me aside and said that she took classes in college on how to arrange flowers. If I wanted, she would like to take care of the flowers.  I gladly let her. The Saturday before the wedding, we all went to the Farmer's market.  My mom, grandmothers and I grabbed different kinds of tropical flowers, all different colors and sizes. We brought it home and put it in the refrigerator.  We showed them to Gabe and allowed her to create a masterpiece. 

What she created as the bridals' bouquet was just too marvelous for words.  It was one of my favorite things about my wedding.  The flowers had colors that brought life into my wedding. Against my ivory gown, it radiated loveliness.  It was a beautiful accessory that made my wedding outfit complete. 

After gawking at the flowers, we were told by my appointed schedule bearers', Sonja and Kim, that we were to wear our swimsuits to the rehearsal. We all piled into the cars and headed over to the cottage on a small, private beach.

We set up the tiki torches, poured fuel into the canisters and lit the fuses.  They smelled of summer time, bringing me back to my childhood to tiki torches burning in the little spot down at the creek. One by one, my cousins grabbed the torches and held them as the white fuses slowly burned to charcoal black.  Standing side by side, they looked like a cool army of chicks in bathing suits holding burning tiki torches.  If only we painted black marks on their cheeks and have them raise the torches over their heads while uttering a war cry, they would have fit some kind of army for the Amazon princess warriors thingy.

Anyways, we brought the torches down to the beach where Gabe tied strands of tropical flowers to the posts.  As Gabe was tying, Mormor held the torches and watched as Mom, Sonja and Kim got the rehearsal underway.  We all talked and gave directions, tumbling our words together. We laughed and teased and bickered our way into a make-do ceremony.  Sonja pretended to be James and held my hands as we positioned ourselves.  We figured out where certain people were going to be, for example, my father in law has one leg.  We figured that it would be easiest for him to just go ahead and walk down to the beach and sit in his wheelchair and watch everything from there.  We also decided exactly where James and I would stand so that the background was a gorgeous view of the bay.  We decided where the guest aisle would be. 

In the midst of figuring out the details for the ceremony, the paradise sky darkens and raindrops fell.  Mormor raised her hands to the sky and prayed.  The beach was on the Marine base which was on the windward side of the island… the side that often rains. Mormor, the most faithful prayer warrior I’ve ever know, has been praying all week for a beautiful day for my wedding, for the clouds to hold their buckets of rain and pass over the beach.  All around us, it was cloudy except the spot we were in. It was a wonderful day.  So when we felt the sprinkles, Mormor started to pray.  As soon as she did that, I knew everything was going to be okay.  It was an instant feeling of yeah-this-is-going-to-be-okay-even-if-the-clouds-poured. 

After the rehearsal, my aunts gave me a delightful little surprise.  They gave me the gift of time to go swimming in the waves. Growing up on Lake Michigan, I have so many cherished memories of playing in the waves with my family.  To be able to do it again, here in Hawaii, with my family was just simply icing on the cake... cherry on the top... cream of the crop... 

Anyways, we made our way to Pyramid Rock beach. 

This is the beach where the waves crash regularly.  This is where the lifeguards constantly stand on their deck blaring out on their warnings of the undertow on the loudspeaker.  This is where the wind whips the sand across your skin, leaving you feeling every sting.  This is where we had some fun. 

We undressed, and dove into the waves.  We met up with every wave, diving into them right before it broke.  Our eyes turned bloodshot, our fingers turned into prunes, but our hearts became children again as we laughed, swam and tumbled about in the glorious waves.  

We would be pull out into the sea and we would ride the waves back in.  Finally, the lifeguards couldn't handle it anymore and told us to come ashore.  Sonja exclaimed, "Perfect.  The bride needs to get on her way."  

With grins as wide as the moon, we stumbled out onto the sandy shore.  Piling back into the cars, we all head back to the hotel for showers and to get ready for the grand reveal of the day.

After Gabe beautified my face and adorned my hair with purple orchids, I slipped into one of my old, most treasured white sun dress for photos with James on the beach.  We quietly slipped away with Tj and Gabe (the photographers) and went to the beach.  We wanted to get most of the traditional pictures out of the way.  It ended up being a special time of being together before becoming one. 

Simply just by seeing each other, James and I were able to be at rest.  We were able to express our love for each other, our excitement for the day and our hope for the future.  We were able to laugh away worries that we may have had. Above all, we were able to have some of these moments capture into photographs.

After the fun, relaxing photo shoot, family met us up at the beach for some family pictures.  There aren't enough words to express what each person means to me.  I get choked up with a lump in my throat and my eyes teared up.  As I sat watching everyone pour out of the cars, my heart swelled with love and gratitude for each special person.  

The family photos were traditional but not so traditional either.  For cryin' out loud, how many people can proudly boast a picture of their families in the utopia of Hawaii?  With the magnificent Waianae mountains striking tall in the background and the stormy clouds topped the peaks with marvelous sun rays streaming through, James and I stood with endearing family members as we beamed, smiled, grinned and laughed through snapshot after snapshot.

With a glance to their watches, Kim and Sonja told me it was time.  The clock was ticking. The countdown was starting.  I was to clothe myself in a dress befitting for a bride. I was to have final touch ups on make-up and hair. I was to hide myself until I was ready to walk down the aisle to meet the one who held my heart.

With my mom, Lisa and Gabe, in the small bedroom of beach cottage by the cove, I slipped into my dress.  As Lisa and Mom laced me up, Gabe replaced wilted orchids in my hair. 

My dress fit like a glove.  My hair was charming and sublime.  My make-up was just right. Mom stood behind me to clip on my too-cool necklace... I must gush over my wedding jewelry.  Weeks prior, I was leafing through pictures and magazines, trying to figure out what exactly I wanted for my wedding jewelry.  The more I looked at strings of pearls, the more I was turned off by the sight of them.  I wanted something more.  One day Mom showed me a jewelry magazine and pointed out several.  I recall loving both sets, but one seems to be perfect...  It was in gold hues beads, pearls and crystals.  The set was earrings, necklace and bracelet. The earrings dangled at the right length, the bracelet charmed my wrist gracefully and the neck fitted to my neck and dress so beautifully. It was the final pieces that made my bridal ensemble complete. Oh I just love it and still do to this day! (I swear I really am not materialistic.... despite my gushings.)

With soft kind words from Mom and Lisa, they quietly slipped from the room.  Gabe asked if I wanted my netting or go without.  At that point I really didn't care.  At one time, I envisioned it to look savvy and chic.  After several frustrated attempts, I decided that I wouldn't make up my mind until my wedding day.  Gabe ended up trying with and without.  Simply by angling it over my face, I was won over.  Finally, it was that savvy chic look I hoped for.  And... looking back at the pictures... it was a little bit awesomely ridiculous.  

And suddenly.... it was time.

I walked through a quiet beach cottage outside where I met up with Dad.  Somewhere outside music was playing. The sun had disappeared behind the mountains and clouds.  The lighting was that perfect afternoon glow.  The blue turquoise waters of the bay was calm, gently lapping the sandy shores.  

Kim swept out my train behind me as I stared at my lovely sisters in front of me. Daddy held out his arm with a certain smile. A smile that is letting me know I am loved and a range of emotions played across his face.  I kissed his cheek and then looked out across the yard into the little private sandy beach. 

A breeze stirred the tall grass as they reached up and tickled my ankles. The music changed.  Soft tempo of the music floated on the breeze...  

"The splendor of a King, 

clothed in Majesty. 

All the earth rejoice. 

All the earth rejoice.

He wraps himself in light

Darkness tries to hide.

Trembles at His voice.

Trembles at His voice." 

Kim mention for Erin and Lisa to start walking. Hand in hand with smiles that brighten their ever so lovely faces, they slowly walked down. The tempo was building...

"How great is our God.

Sing with me.

How great is our God.

And all shall sing,

How Great,

How great is our God..."

Kim turned and faced me.  With a soft nod, she smiled and mentioned for Daddy and I to start walking.  Family and friends that were able to come stood at the edge of the grassy yard, in two lines, forming a intimate aisle. Beyond the aisle, my father-in-law, Larry, was sitting in his chair looking on proudly. Behind him stood Anthony, Travis and James. (Travis and Anthony stood up with James, but Anthony was also officiating the ceremony.)

As Dad guided me down the aisle, I suppose I should have been looking at each person. However, I just could not pull my eyes away from the man in dress blues. He was standing tall and looking so handsome and sharp.  Best of all was the way he was gazing at me, adoring me and beckoning me with the love in his eyes. 

Dad and I walked around Larry and came face to face with James and Anthony. We stood there as the crowd of family and friends formed a half circle around us. The music died and Anthony asked, "Who gives this woman to this man?"

With a half smile and slightly teary eyes, my dad strongly answered, "Her mother and I do." With a sweet kiss, he gently passed me off to James.

Throughout Anthony's marvelous words of wisdom, James and I would steal glances at each other, squeeze each others hands and share smiles.  At the beginning, James was a bit tense as he held his arms out stiffly and his hands felt like rocks.  I slightly shook his hands and whispered to him, "Relax."  

"I am." He whispered back. I raised my eyebrow and he smiled and winked.  Stimuateously we loosen our arms and we were drawn under Anthony's spell that he casted with the help of the Holy Spirit that encircled us.

With encouragements and warnings, Anthony told us of how hard marriage is and how wonderful it will be. Like warriors before a battle, we drew the words on over our hearts like armor. 

After his message, we said the simple but powerful traditional vows. Placing the rings on each other fingers, we ensure each other the symbol our love.  

However, as I was about to place the ring on James' finger, I suddenly wasn't sure if it was the right hand or not.  I had to pause, make a "L" with my left hand and pivot my body so I could see that it was indeed his left hand.  With a short laugh and a goofy grin, I smiled and placed the ring on his proper finger.

James and I looked at Anthony, and Anthony grinned at James.  With a shrug, he said, "Well, you may kiss your bride."

With that, James pulled me into his arms and sealed our vows with a kiss.

**My awesome brother, Matthew, was the video camera man, he was able to post unedited clips of the wedding ceremony.**


My joy is kisses- the kind that seals a sacred promise.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Day of Bliss

With a small voice from somewhere in my soul urging me, "Write it down. Write it while you still remember. Write while the smells are still vivid, the sounds are still clear and the emotions still raw. Write."

I can't imagine not remembering my special day. I can't imagine not loving every detail about that day of bliss. Some how, some way, time has a way of reaching into our memories and fading them until you can only remember certain things. Perhaps it is just the fact that we are constantly making new memories, encountering new phases in our lives that require certain memories to fade just so the new ones can glow.

But for now... my wedding day is a glowing memory, a burning brand that is marked on my heart forever even when it fades.

From the moment I woke up on December 31st, I was enthralled with the anticipation of what the day would bring. One of my best friends and roommate from college, Carolyn, stayed at my tiny apartment with me. We woke up in my bed, face to face. We smiled as I felt a giggle bubbled its way to surface. I was positively giddy even with morning breath, crusty eyes and bed hair.

We rolled out of bed since we had planned to meet up with everyone at the hotel around 8. The night before, despite my grumbling, Carolyn made me pack my bag for the day and for later that night. I am so thankful that she forced me to do it because it made my morning so carefree and fun.
(Kaiula Beach- where we tried in vain to catch some serious sun rays)

All I had to do was pull on shorts and a tank top, brush my teeth and I was out the door.

We slid into my little red car, Sally Jo. The sun was shining through palm trees and the breeze smelled of salty sunshine. We rolled down the windows and roared (Yes- roared, Sally Jo doesn't know the meaning of quiet.) out of my peaceful, calm neighborhood. I reached for the Ipod and search until I found the song I wanted.

Long, long time ago... The words floated out of the speakers. I looked at Carolyn and grinned. She smiled and started singing along. American Pie has been a favorite song of mine because of many things and because I love the fact that I can sing the whole thing by heart. It has a way of pumping me up and just for a moment, I can fit into the hearing world.

As we got nearer to the base, the song ended. I sighed with a smile and glanced at Carolyn. She smiled and reached for the Ipod and press replay and cranked up the volume. Once more, with our hands waving out the window and voices out of tune but loudly singing:

"Bye-bye, Miss American Pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin',
whiskey and rye.
And singin',
"This'll be the day that I die.
this'll be the day that I die."


I love that she wanted to replay it again. I loved that she sang with me. I loved that she cranked up the volume. I loved that she was with me on that morning.
I will continue with the rest of the story in another post. It will be long. It will be drawn out. I don't care how long it will take because it is my wedding story... my day of bliss.

My joy is sharing my joys with my best friend, Carolyn.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Going home...

On January 24th, I made a surprise visit home. It is just a quick visit, only 5 days.

Mom and I decided to just keep it between us and surprise everyone.

I landed in Grand Rapids at 9:30 in the morning, I was exhausted from jet lag, traveling all night and getting only 3-4 hours worth of sleep but through my fogginess, I was thrilled to see everyone again.

Mom and Lisa had planned to go to the bridal show in Grand Rapids to scour the area for some sweet wedding deals. Brittany, my cousin, decided to join in on the fun. As they were driving towards Grand Rapids, Mom told Lisa and Brittany that she needed to stop by Sam's Club first and do some other errands. When she pulled off the exit towards the airport, Lisa's suspicions grew. As Mom turned onto the road towards the airport, Lisa finally asked, "Mom, there aren't any businesses on this road except the airport. What are we picking up from the airport? Laura?"

Mom smiled.

When Mom pulled up at the airport, I stepped out into the frigged cold. I couldn't believe that I had already adapted to warm tropical weather so quickly that I forgot about the biting cold of the Midwest. Lisa and Brittany jumped out and gave me a wonderful welcome-back-home hugs.

We went to Sam's club to pick up supplies for the parties that night. One was the 2008 Beckman Christmas party celebrated in January of 2009. Most of the family was in Hawaii celebrating my wedding with me that they decided to postpone the traditional family get-together till everyone was home. The other party was Matthew's party. That day was the same day as Matthew's midwinter dance. He invited everyone over for pictures and they brought their parents. Our house was filled to the brim, I was just surprised not to see the floor fall out from our feet.

After Sam's Club,we went to the bridal show. I am just glad that I am not a bride anymore. Just dealing with the sales people was exhausting. However, it was fun just to go through it again and watch Lisa deal with them all. It was also fun to give Brittany my ring and pretend she was a bride so she can get free stuff.

Finally, we made our way home. My family was to bring the fruit platter. I brought home three fresh yummy pineapple from Hawaii. So I prepared the platter with delish fresh, melt-in-your-mouth-goodness fruits. Lisa and I left to head over to Mormor and Papa's for the Beckman Christmas.

I sent Lisa ahead to grab the camera and start taking pictures as I walked through the door. I wanted her to capture the emotions of my loved one's faces. She only snapped four... but it was enough.

Mitzi, my beloved aunt, gave me the best reaction. She just stood there with her mouth gaping open. Then she smiled and covered her mouth. I think she said "Oh my gosh" and started laughing. She was the first to notice me and to give me a wonderful hug.

Then Mormor and Papa saw me and were just shocked. They couldn't believe their eyes. I was in Kauai with them for two weeks. During that time they had expressed that they really wish that I could come home for the party. When I left them at the airport, they expressed their sorrow that I wasn't able to join the fun festivities. I just gave them a sympathetic pat on the back and fake a sad face, declaring, "Oh me too."

Now with a grin on my face, I approached them. Mormor just stood there shaking her wet fingers at me, saying" You. You. You." I laughed and was enveloped into her arms.

As Papa hugged me, family started pouring into the kitchen. I have to say this is one of my favorite pictures. Just peeking over Papa's shoulder, I saw my beloved cousins' faces. Each one of them priceless.

For the rest of the night, we swamped stories, shared laughter, opened presents and ate a feast of delicious foods. We ended the night with no other pictures. Just warm memories that are stored into the deepest parts of my heart.

My joy is remembering priceless memories.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A brief glimpse...

On New Year's eve, I married my one true love.



It was wonderful...

Intimate...

Beautiful...

Special...



I was surrounded by loved ones. Loved ones who put together a ceremony too marvelous for words. Loved ones who loved on me all day and made me feel like a lovely, precious bride. Loved ones who made me feel so blessed.

So. Very. Blessed.

The whole day was wonderful. From the moment, I woke up till the time I walked away with my man, my husband.

*I will be recounting the moments of that day as soon as I have more pictures.


My joy is marrying my man, my marine, my love.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Engagement

Yes, I am hitched now.
I PROMISE to post about the wedding but first, I need to tell of my engagement story.


Every year on October 31st, I celebrate two things, my birthday and Halloween. This year for my 24th birthday, I was in Hawaii. James had to work all day so I decided just to keep myself busy.

I had been recieving birthday messages from friends and family throughout the day. It brighten my day but it simply was not the same as celebrating and seeing them in person. The only person on the whole island that knew it was my birthday was James.

After texting James once, asking, "Did you forget to tell me something?"

To which he replied, "What? What do you mean? Happy Halloween?"

I decided that I wasn't going to beg. I would just let him tell me when he finally remembered. When I went to pick him up from work, I said, "Hey, why don't we go to the Cheesecake Factory for supper and then meet up with friends after that?"

He made a face like he really did NOT want to do that plan. After a moment, he answered, "Why don't we go to the Cheesecake Factory and then we will see what happens after that?"

Letting his attitude affect me, I shrugged, "Fine. Whatever."

We had to go back to his barrack so he could change clothes. By the time he came back down to the car, I had decided that I was tired and didn't care to go to the Cheesecake Factory anymore. I told him how I was feeling.

"What? No. We ARE going to the Cheesecake Factory." was his huffy reply. By this time, I was thinking that he really has had a long week and was acting strange.

So off to the Cheesecake Factory we went. When we reached the hostess' stand, we were told that it was a 60 to 90 minute wait. James happily exclaimed, "Great!"

Okay, honestly, who in the right frame of mind would be happy about an hour and half wait? The typical responds is a groan and/or ask whoever they are with if they want to wait that long. Right?

By this time, I knew something was up. I decided to just roll with the punches. James suggested that we head behind the Cheesecake Factory to walk on the Waikiki beach. After walking a little ways, I asked if we could just sit and talk. He looked around and said, "No, not here. Let's walk a little bit more."

"How about here?"

"No, not here." And on we would walk. Finally, after glancing over his shoulders, he motioned that we could sit. I noticed that it was in a spot where the lighting was good so I could easily see his face. (Sweet guy.)

We watched as the waves crashed on shore in the dim starlight and streetlight beach. There was a gentle breeze floating from the sea, reaching up and tickling our hair. After soaking in the peaceful setting, we talked of our day. At one point in the conversation, I looked at him and said, "It is really bothering me that you won't say something to me. I know that you know what day today is. And you still acted like you didn't care. That you forgot that it was my birthday."

Swinging his body around and pinning me with a pointed stare, he answered, "I knew it was your birthday. I did not forget it was your birthday. In fact, I have something for you."

He got on one knee, reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet black box. Opening the case, he asked,"Happy birthday. Will you be my wife?"

"Are you serious? You are kidding me." was my shocked reply.

He rolled his eyes and asked again, "Laura, I am serious. Now, will you be my bride?"

To which I answered with a choked laugh and a hand to my throat, "Yes. Yes, of course."

Just moments after he popped the quesiton.
After a kiss and hug, we grinned at each other. Then the questions and comments came rolling out of me. "So this is why you were acting so strange all day?? Did you ask my dad? I kind of knew that you were going to ask sometime because Mom kind of let the cat out of the bag. I have got to call my family. No wait, I can't. They are sleeping." And on and on I went. He sweetly answered my questions.

He had planned to act standoffish all day and take me for a walk on a private beach. Then he was going to pretend to see something on the ground, get on one knee and ask. Unbeknowst to me, I kept messing up his plans so he had to improvise.

Of course, he asked my dad. He told me how nervous he was and how the conversation went.

Finally, we went up to the Cheesecake Factory and had a celebration of sorts.

My birthday, Halloween and now, our engagement.

The next day.

My joy is surprises.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Home Sweet Home

On December 16th, I arrived in Oahu, Hawaii. I moved into my apartment that night. Here are many pictures of my humble 16' by 18' home:

I am standing in the door way looking in.

Carolyn is standing in the doorway... 
The next four pictures provides a 180 degree view of the place.
The door on the left side of the picture is the bathroom.

The center is the small bathroom.
The left is the pantry closet.

From right to left:
 bathroom
pantry closet
kitchen

There is a small wall that ensure some privacy for my bedroom
 and it separates the kitchen from the place where I lay my head.

I have two sweet ceiling fans...  
along with the great windows, my place is very open and breezy. 
 I love it.

Obviously, I am sitting on my queen size bed. 
In the mirror's reflection, you can see my kitchen.

From the bedroom,
 looking out into my 
dining room/living room/entry way/kitchen.
Mom got this rug in Peru.
Look closely, you can see the palm branches outside of my door.

The second ceiling fan.
I love the high ceiling in this place.

In the bottom left corner, you can see my stove tops.  
To my dismay, this place does not have an oven.
My refrigerator is outside.

Here is a close up of my bathroom.

The bathroom has walls, but no ceiling.  
You can hear everyone doing their business in this bathroom.

I thought this was a cool photo. 

Even though this place is small, I simply love it.  It will do for me and James' first home together. 

My joy is feeling and smelling the warm fragrance breeze blowing gently through my home sweet home.

Monday, December 22, 2008

A taste of what is to come...

Here are a few pictures...





My joy is the sound of laughter on the beach.